Whether you are aware of it or not, Spring brings transformation, everytime it comes.
Spring means change, evolution, rebirth.
Change comes and it doesn’t leave us untouched, most of the time.
It often hurts, and sometimes it hurts so bad that we feel that our heart can’t bear all that pain.
The heart shrinks, breaks, stops.
Maybe you have wondered if this all has a meaning, a deeper sense.
I have asked my Self this exact question, but I have often been left with no answer.
With change, it comes a feeling of inner emptiness and it’s up to us to choose what to do with it: do we choose to fill that emptiness with whatever passes by us in order not to feel the pain, or to observe, stay open, live with that emptiness that is but spaciousness?
I have decided to choose the second option, day after day.
Because I lived with a closed heart for a long time, it seemed that that way of living could protect me from pain. But I found out later that that wasn’t the truth: pain was still there, I just couldn’t perceive it, I wasn’t aware of its presence. And as soon as the rock surrounding my heart cracked a little, the pain so far strangled came out as a sudden flood.
In the meanwhile life had passed quietly, both for the bad and for the good.
For me, it is not easy to live with an open heart. This fragile and sensitive heart begs not to feel everything so intensely, it implores me to give it rest, it tries to convince me in every possible way that it would be better to shut it down.
Keeping the heart open is a constant struggle.
But it’s worth it.
I am in pain, and I will endure in such a state until my soul will have its needs of knowledge, learning and experience satisfied.
But I won’t close the heart, not at all, because I would close it not only to pain.
I would close it to Life.
What do YOU choose?
• The Earth and Soul Wanderer •