The sense of belonging has always led most of my steps,
the feeling of being “a part of” guides human’s life, it’s one of our inherent needs.
Yet, as I grew up, I rarely experienced that sense of belonging; I usually felt wrong because “if everyone fits, if everyone belongs to a group and feels at ease, and I don’t, then I must be the one who’s wrong”. I told myself this story so many times that I ended believing it.
Only in my early twenties I realised that that was a false belief and that I needed to let it go; if I hardly ever felt I was a part of something it wasn’t because I was wrong, it was just because I lived my life and looked at the world in a way which was different than the way most people around me did – that didn’t make me any better or worse, just different, just for different people.
My university years, and mostly the nine months I spent in Cork (Ireland) for my Erasmus, were the foundation for my new awareness: there really are groups and communities where I am welcomed and accepted and where I can be at ease because they are made of like-minded people!
I finally got to know that sense of belonging many talked of, I finally experienced a home-coming – this surely made it tougher to go back to the place where I was born and I unfortunately never felt I belonged to, no matter how hard I tried.
I kept searching for my Tribe,
a never ending search which often led to disappointment and frustration.
Then, one day, came Remembrance: “You are the co-creatix of your Life”.
Boom, that is what I kept forgetting!
Yes, I was searching for it, yet on one side I lived that quest as a supporting actress and by passively accepting outer circumstances, on the other side I had lost sight of a fundamental aspect: you attract what you manifest; then it wasn’t important to focus on the Tribe-goal, my WHAT, only, but I also needed to take into account HOW I wanted to feel with the Tribe and I needed to manifest my Truth in the World through words and actions (by walking the talk).
When I added a pich of fairy dust (aka Internet) to this newly acquired awareness, the chances of meeting Soul Sisters and Brothers have increased.
Thanks to this digital world, I have met special people, I have felt deep emotions, I have had many “I Belong!” moments.
(As a proof of this, have a look at Margy Zen’s new vlog on the happy happy day we lived yesterday)
However, at times I’ve been keeping feeling a sense of loneliness and non-belonging.
I wondered why, and I found two main reasons:
1) the relationships that make me feel a sense of belonging are mainly with people who are physically far and whom I don’t talk to regularly;
2) most importantly, I am used to be alone and do it all by myself; it’s an old scheme I developped during my childhood, which got stronger during my adolescence and is still within me, and makes it hard for me to rely on someone else, to share, to look for support when I need it, to spend happy moments with another – I tend to let my old fear of not being liked, appreciated, wanted for who I am take over.
Yet, when I open up to the Other and to Love I end up in a dimension which I still can’t believe it’s real, but it’s what I want for myself and every human being, because feeling and being “a part of” makes life better and hardships more bearable.
As I am the co-creatix of my reality (and you are yours), I have chosen to have this dream of Tribe and Community as a Guide on the Path.
What I am working on will be a place where you too will be able to know belonging and to feel at home, within yourself and with others.
If you choose so.
Sister, I welcome you.